Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mother's Day

It’s the last day of May and I have been reflecting on the month. In just one month we sang “Happy Birthday” at least four times, celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary, swam in the Illinois River for the first time this summer, and went bowling as a family for the first time. Honestly, that barely touches on what we have done this month. With all these fun times were also some very hard times as you can imagine. But the day that will forever be etched into my heart was my first Mother’s Day as a house mom. Sure, I’ve had other mother’s days that were special, but this day was different on so many levels. It started with me having a hard time dealing with my emotions. How could God call me to fill such big shoes in so many lives? I felt so insignificant and Satan was attacking at my mind in so many ways. Mother’s Day brings out many emotions for many of my kids because of what it means – and to all of them it means something entirely different. On top of that, my mom, who means the world to me, is 1,000 miles away. I kept praying, “God get me through this day!” This is supposed to be my day to relax and enjoy my family but it was so hard for me to do. I just kept praying. “God, get me through this day.” I woke up to many loving hugs and “Happy Mother’s Day” comments. We went to church together, I didn’t have to cook or clean anything all day, and I got thoughtful cards. We watched, “Princess and the Frog” which was a gift from one of my high school boys who saved his allowance. I got beat at “horse” quite a few times on the basketball court, as some of the others were inside making dinner. I got to Skype with my mom. Then I got called in for dinner. I knew they had something up their sleeves and I was honestly a little nervous. As I went inside I had a vase on my dinner plate with flowers inside (from the yard down the street) with tons of pieces of paper also inside and around it. On each piece of paper my kids each wrote things that they loved or appreciated about me. The first one I read said, “I love how it’s the little things that make you the happiest.” I couldn’t even read another. It broke my heart into so many pieces. I never dreamed in a million years that I would be spending this Mother’s Day with so many emotions and feeling so very blessed to be where I am. I am more convinced now more than ever that these kids and families are not just at Cookson to get help, hope and healing, but in turn they are providing that for me as well, much more than they will ever know. My oldest daughter decided last week to take all the pieces and glue them on canvas so I will always have them to look at. She said she isn’t finished and wants to paint something on the sides but this is what it looks like now, and as you can imagine, I love it.